Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

The Spring semester has started.  The only thing I like about this new semester is the word SPRING.  This bitter cold is killing me. -11 degrees Fahrenheit with windchill today, or something ridiculous like that.  I can’t get my head into it, and I really, really do not want to do another level of programming.

I will not ever be a programmer, just so you know. It’s also crossed my mind a few times as to if I really want to go back into Information Technology.  Do I want to be a Database Analyst again?  I don’t know.

Anyway, new semester begins and I’m not sure I am at all ready to dive back into it [Programming and Logic II].  It’s tedious, time consuming, and I don’t know.  I’ve also picked up an American History II class, and am holding off with the second half of Calculus until the summer (maybe).  I’m all math-ed out, if that’s even possible.  I’ve dropped my course load down to two classes this semester, as to not spread myself out thin with the kids, their school, ski school, gymnastics, home life, yoga and running.  The programming class takes up most of my time anyway, and it’s only getting more complicated.  I don’t want to lose momentum with the running again.  I also need yoga.  Pilates is a bonus for me! Man, I love me some pilates.  Just thinking that I have a program, an assignment and two quizzes next week really is putting a sour taste in my mouth though.

I haven’t even cracked a book yet.  Everyone expects President’s List again.  Do they know that I pretty much ignored my kids and that I do not want to do that again! It’s all too much.

The thing is, is that I know I can do this.  It will be fine! But my heart is not into it.  The last three weeks with the kids have been amazing, and relaxing and now I’m going to get into crazy mode again.  Non-social mode.  I can’t deal mode.

I’m also willing May to come quickly.

How do I change my attitude about this… and winter in New York, for that matter?

I don’t want to get irritable and Xanax ridden again to maintain my sanity, and to help me sleep.  Ugh.  I’ve enjoyed nights of solid sleep and now I’ll go back to broken sleep patterns…

I honestly do not know what to do.  I could cry.


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